I had a reputation for sleeping with anything in skirts. Girls threw themselves at me shamelessly and I took advantage of it big time. It's not my fault that I'm such a fine man. I was a player and girls were my play thing... you're not far from the truth if you call me a bad boy but hey, don't hate the player, hate the game.
Anyway, I met Nkasi and my perception about the opposite sex changed drastically. It happened that I needed someone to do the interiors at my house and she came highly recommended. This chance meeting marked the beginning of things to come.
I was used to ladies undressing me with their eyes or ogling over me but not her. She didn't even do a double take or give me a second look. She was very thorough and professional. I even tried to flirt with her but this girl barely noticed me. I wasn't used to being treated as if I was invisible... I was used to receiving the celebrity treatment but here I was being treated like a nonentity. Kai e pain me sha. This was a first for me. It was a challenge that I was willing to take on.
By the time Nkasi and her team were done at the house, I was convinced that I liked her a lot and she wasn't someone I wanted to mess around with. She was different. She was not like any girl I've ever met and that was a huge green flag as far as I was concerned.
I tried to woo her, as a matter of fact I tried every trick in the book to get her attention to no avail. It took me all of two years, three months and six days of persistence and consistence before I could get a date with her. This was the longest I've ever had to talk to any girl to go out with me.
It beats me how I was able to sit across the table from her without thinking about taking her to bed. I even shocked myself. I enjoyed how she stimulated me intellectually and mentally. There was no way in the world I was going to let her go. She was a keeper.
That first date was beautiful and it led to several others but Nkasi still refused to be my girlfriend. She continued to friend zone me even when she knew that I wanted more. I knew she liked me, It was obvious from the way she smiled when she looked at me yet she was afraid to commit to a relationship and I was willing to wait until whenever she thought she was ready. She would be worth the wait. Days ran into weeks and weeks into months and I was loving her more. I was addicted to her and I needed her the same way I needed oxygen to survive. Anyone that knew me could tell that I was a better man and it was because of her.
We were celebrating our first year "friendship-versary" over dinner. Nkasi had earlier informed me that she had something to tell me. I was eager to hear what she had to say and I made up my mind that nothing she said was going to stop me from loving her.
Dinner was lovely until Nkasi told me that she was a sickle cell warrior and the issues with her health discouraged her from having any serious relationships. I didn't believe her at first but I knew she would never lie about such a thing. This was a hard bone to chew but it wasn't going to stop me from loving her anyway. Nkasi looked healthy. She didn't have any of those traits that gave sickle cell warriors away. It was a tough one but I still loved her regardless.
I assured her of my undying love for her. I was in it for the long haul and nothing was going to change that. I'd never turn my back on her no matter what.
My darling Nkasi hardly fell sick but whenever she did, it was always like a battle for her life. I wanted to protect her at all cost. I wanted to be there whenever she was in pains. I wanted to be there through thick and thin. I never wanted her to be alone. I wanted to do forever with her so I proposed to her. Of course she turned it down. Nkasi did not want to be a burden to me. She also knew how much I love children and she wasn't ready to bring any child into this world to suffer. I understood her fears. There were high chances of having one or two sickle cell kids considering both our genotypes. I had to make her understand that I wasn't with her because of children. I loved her too much to make her go through more pain than she was already experiencing. It took a while to convince her before she agreed to be my wife and it was the best decision I ever made because she gave me the best 35 years of my life.
Our two adopted kids were divinely sent to complement the peaceful and loving home we had. They were our special gifts from God. Some biological kids could never compare or measure up to my children. They were an absolute delight.
As the years went by, it became clear that my Nkasi's strength to fight was beginning to wane. She woke up one morning and everything that could go wrong started to go wrong. She was slowly losing her hearing, then she couldn't walk properly because of the wear and tear of her bones and joints due to chronic pain over time.
One day, Nkasi fainted at home and had to be taken to the hospital. Just as we had seen in recent times, she had become anaemic (again) and that called for the routine blood transfusion. I watched helplessly as my wife deteriorated by the minute. And little by little she began to lose her speech but not before she asked that I get our children and grandchildren to come visit her. My once vibrant and lively wife was in a vegetative state and I knew it was just a matter of time before she left me. I knew her condition was bad but after she was diagnosed of multiple organ failure, I kept asking myself how much worse it could get. All we had to do was watch and wait until the inevitable happened.
Nkasi was a indeed a warrior and even though she was weak towards the end of her life, she really put up a brave fight until she took her last breath. She died in her sleep surrounded by the people she loved the most. I am grateful for the life she lived and for the years we spent together. If I could do life all over again, I will definitely do it with her.
- Written by:
Udy Osaro Edobor.
udy1717@gmail.com
